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Holding Your Light and Speaking Your Truth in a World of Coercive Control

In a world that often seeks to stifle individuality and self-expression, it is more important than ever to stand strong in our uniqueness. This implies embracing our 'light' and 'truth' as fundamental aspects of our personal identity. But what do we mean by these terms? In essence, your 'light' signifies your self-awareness, while your 'truth' represents your individual reality.

II. Understanding Your Light and Your Truth

To truly understand these concepts, it's important to delve deeper into their meaning. Your 'light', in this context, represents your awareness of yourself—your strengths, weaknesses, passions, and beliefs. It illuminates the path you walk on and guides you towards your goals.

Your 'truth', on the other hand, is your individual reality—the authenticity of your experience, feelings, and perceptions. It's the core of who you are and what you stand for.

Your light and truth are interconnected—your light helps you understand your truth, and your truth fuels your light. The power of knowing oneself and understanding one's personal truth cannot be overstated—it grants you the courage to live authentically and powerfully.

III. The Reality of Coercive Control and High Control Relationships

Coercive control and high control relationships are scenarios where one's individuality and self-expression are threatened or suppressed. These situations can be detrimental to one's light and truth, as they often involve manipulation, domination, and emotional abuse.

In such relationships, maintaining your personal truth and light becomes incredibly important—for it is these elements that will keep you grounded and capable of standing up against oppression.

IV. The Importance of Trusting Your Own Truth

In the face of coercive control, trusting your personal truth becomes a necessity rather than a choice. Trusting your truth means believing in your experiences, feelings, and perceptions and refusing to let anyone distort them.

An important aspect of this trust is understanding that people often reveal their true intentions—if you are observant enough. Their actions, words, or inconsistencies can give away their real motives. This knowledge can be instrumental in reinforcing your trust in your own truth.

V. The Danger of Allowing Others to Override or Minimize Your Experience

Allowing someone else to override or minimize your experiences can have serious negative effects on your self-esteem, mental health, and overall well-being. It can lead to self-doubt, confusion, and a distorted sense of reality.

Therefore, it's critical to stand your ground and protect your personal truth. Your experiences are valid, your feelings are real, and no one else has the right to diminish them.

VI. Practical Tips for Holding Your Light and Speaking Your Truth

Standing up against coercive control and maintaining your personal truth requires courage and resilience. Here are some practical tips:

  1. Develop self-awareness: Understand who you are and what you stand for. This will give you the confidence to stand up for yourself.

  2. Trust your intuition: Often, your gut feeling is right. If something feels off, it probably is.

  3. Set boundaries: Define what is acceptable behaviour for you and don’t compromise on it.

  4. Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can provide emotional support and guidance.

  5. Speak out: Don't shy away from expressing your feelings and experiences.

VII. Conclusion

In conclusion, maintaining your personal truth and light in the face of coercive control is vital for preserving your individual identity and self-expression. It involves understanding yourself, trusting your experiences, setting boundaries, seeking support, and speaking out against oppression.

Remember, no one knows you better than you know yourself—your truth is yours alone. Protect it, trust it, and let it guide you. You have the strength to overcome any form of coercive control or high control relationship, and you are never alone in this journey. Hold onto your light and speak your truth—it's your most powerful weapon.null

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I just had an uncomfortable phone conversation with a girl friend where i had to speak my truth about how I felt she was judging me by her perception of the way SHE thought that I felt when in deed she was not correct. I feel her people pleasing skills further complicated this scenario (maybe my judgment) but it was an uncomfortable moment of me trying to express my truth of feeling judged by her that turned into a giant mind fuck for sure.

I ended the conversation by telling her I loved her, Appreciated her and for her to really think about the future plans we may have together as if she truly thought that of me maybe she…

Replying to

Hi Nathalie!

It can be very frustrating to receive unsolicited advice - I had a great awakening when Byron Katie was sharing at a seminar to place people in their most basic form- woman talking.

I would do this with a particularly controlling partner I had at the time, and it was so liberating! He went on and on about how I was painting the kitchen wrong. So controlling and condescending- so i just stepped back and he grabbed the roller- and was lecturing me. I thought man talking. I stood there, for what I now think is way too long, listening-

Repeating to myself man talking so I could not care what he thought or was saying to me…


"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Imagination is Everything. It is the preview of Life's coming attractions."
                                                                                                                                                -Albert Einstein 

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